Not-so-Jolly Ranchers

29 Sep

Texas 41, Oklahoma State 36

Sept. 29, 2012 • Stillwater, OK

Cowboys are right up there with bears when it comes to mascots that Texas has played most often. We have already played one cowboy team this season, and that’s in addition to all the other times we’ve played OSU. We’ve spelled Texas with a variety of  cowboy-worthy items: rope, Cowboy coal, hot dogs (think campfire out on the range), brisket, even Fun Dip (a.k.a. “chaw”). This time I figured I’d branch out a little with this homage to one place a cowboy can call home: the ranch. (This may be a sign that I’ve been reading a little too much Pioneer Woman. By the way, I seem to remember seeing photos of her kids in Okie State T-shirts at their ranch home.)

These Cowboys certainly felt at home on the range, breaking one big play after another, including that ridiculous game-opening possession that gave them the early lead. If this game were a rodeo, OSU would not be cowboys, though; they’d be the bulls that change direction every time their riders think  they have found their rhythm.  The Horns’ D, meanwhile, would be the rodeo clowns: They provide a distraction, but they have no intention of actually making contact with anyone. I mean, were they TRYING to avoid the ball-carrier or what? Good cattle!

It’s crazy to think that our defense gave up 576 yards (a whopping 8.6 yards per snap), and yet the Horns won. CRAZY! In spite of the porous D, our offense pulled out a win. QB David Ash was clutch. He threw one interception, but when the game was on the line, he converted on 4th and 6 to extend what turned out to be the game-winning drive. Johnathan Gray threw his own coming out party there in T. Boone’s stadium, and J Gray was just one of a posse of backs who traded carries. Jaxon Shipley earned a hat trick, scoring three touchdowns. Crazy how often good things happen when Ship (version 2.0) gets the ball.

For the record, I do believe Texas’ last TD was, in fact, a touchdown, that the ball crossed the plane before Bergeron fumbled it. I also believe that college football uniforms should never stray too far from their traditional look. (Those OSU unis looked RED to me, red-orange, if I’m generous. How do you run a commercial at halftime that says you’re “America’s brightest orange” and then wear that dark color? Bring back the traffic cone orange!) If you haven’t noticed, I also believe that it’s OK to be a “first-person fan” and use “we” and “our” when referring to the team you’ve cheered and loved since birth. And while I’m at it, Brett Hull’s cup-winning goal was legit and Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. End of rant.

ANYWAY, I’m always glad to see the OSU game in the rearview mirror so I can get back to rooting for the Cowboys. One of my UT buddies went there for his undergrad, and I figure UT and Okie State fans have that “My enemy’s enemy is my friend” thing going for them. Besides, how can you not like a college town that is home to Eskimo Joe’s?

Next up: West Virginia and Heisman candidate Geno Smith. It took forever for football season to get here, but since the first two back-to-back games, we’ve had a whopping THREE tailgate-less Saturdays. Let’s fix that next weekend when the Mountaineers come to Austin. WV beat an RG3-less Baylor 70-63 this weekend, so this may be another “last one with the ball wins” kind of game. But who knows? Maybe our D will morph from rodeo clown to cowboy by then.

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